The CT Scan result and doctors decisions are in. On Wednesday I start up my 3rd round of chemotherapy. They're mixing up what a cancer buddy of mine likes to call a chemo-cocktail. I'll be on four different chemo drugs at once. If that sounds a bit extreme, it may be. We'll see how I handle it.
My liver surgery will be put off, as they found a third cancer spot in my lung. They assume it travelled there through my lymph nodes, which means chemo is the best option now. My treatment has focused mainly on the primary area where cancer started. I haven't been given "systemic" treatment. Systemic treatment addresses your whole body. This chemo treatment is meant to kill cancer cells all over my body. After about 2 months, they'll measure my tumors again. If they've shrunk (are responding) then I'll have liver surgery after a chemo recovery waiting period, then more chemo, wait again, then lung surgery, wait again, then more chemo.
I'm trying to stay positive in light of this latest news. It's hard not to get overwhelmed and let my mind go to dark places. I find myself uncontrollably envious of just about any healthy person I see. I miss my health, my peace of mind and my old routines. But I have to buck-up, as it's a long road to recovery ahead.
So as always, keep me in your prayers... for the chemo to work, for the side effects to be managable, and for my peace of mind. I hope to find my comfort in God. For those of you who might be inclined to do so, please pray for my faith, which has been shaken, and for me to use this dark hour to reconnect with God in a deep way.
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Hi Stacy
ReplyDeleteI know we are but friends of friends, but I wanted you to know that you are still in our prayers. I was reading this post (I've fallen a bit behind!) and my heart goes out to you for the intense struggle that you must endure right now.
Also, i found the scriptures John 10:27-29 very comforting when my faith is weak, far from where it "should" be, knowing that when I can't find the strength to hold onto God, he holds onto me. No one, nothing, no force in all creation can snatch me from his hand... even if I am just lying there, unable move from that spot! He holds me.
Best wishes and much affection,
Corrine (this comes up under James' name... his thoughts are with you, too!)